Dear Andrew

My dear Andrew, you were born in a time when your country had a series of unfortunate events.  We are still reeling from the effects of  Typhoon Pablo (just in case there are international readers out there, the international name of this storm is Bopha).  This boxing, beauty contest, and (recently) Football crazy country also suffered big defeats. Manny "the PacMan" Pacquiao lost to long time rival, Juan Manuel Marquez, Miss Philippines was just 1st runner-up when everybody thought she would win, and lastly, our national football team, the Team Azkals lost their semi-final match to the eventual winners of the ASEAN Football Federation (AFF) Suzuki Cup, the Lions of Singapore.

All these unfortunate events seem now a memory of a distant past in our family because of your arrival.  You are our shining hope in the midst of the not so sunny news.  And just like your Kuya Jacob I have high hopes for your future because I know you will succeed because you will do everything to reach your goal as evidenced when  you cry bloody murder at night when we are all asleep and you want milk.  I am also sure you'll be famous someday because your first picture got around a hundred likes in Facebook!  You were just a few hours old yet you are already a star! On a much personal and selfish note, I am also very happy because you look a lot like me (or so your Lola Dolly said, I have not seen myself as a baby, of course).  Lola Dolly said, we share the same bushy hair and fairly red skin as a newborn.  We also have the same blood type, B+.  Your Kuya Jacob is very handsome, too, just like you but he looks like your mom.  I can only hope that you boys will not be heart breakers, just like your dad.

Kidding aside, my little one, I pray to God that He will bless you all the time and may He give us the strength and the wisdom to successfully guide you into becoming the intelligent and God-fearing man you are destined to be.  May he guide us in instilling in you the right values to help you become what you wanna be when you grow up.  I love you so much, my son.

PS

Kuya Jacob promised to share his toys to you, not just his old clothes.

Cebu Boy

It's been a while since we've began contemplating on bringing Jacob to Cebu.  With wife pregnant with second kid, we figured out that this was the right moment to have Jacob experience being "out of town" this far.  Otherwise, he has to wait until his future baby brother will be 3 years old.

As expected Jacob was ecstatic.  He was excited to be at the airport and ride a full size version of his favourite toy, an airplane.  He always go crazy seeing one in the sky.  He can't help but be excited when he saw the airplane up close from the waiting lounge.  I was a bit worried that he might freak out when he boards the plane because the last time he was asked to ride another full version of his favourite toy, a back hoe, he chickened out.  Thankfully, he did not.  We made sure we got really good seats (bulk head) so that if Jacob gets a little nauseated on the plane, there is little possibility we'll bother other passengers.  Again, Jacob was calm.  He wasn't even bothered at all by the change in the cabin's pressure.

We've visited quite a few places like the Imperial Palace Waterpark Resort, Amara, and my grandma's place.  Although I think Jacob remembers the visit to my relatives, but not as much as he remembers the  plane ride.  It's all that he ever talks about when we came back.  I'm glad that Jacob enjoyed his first plane ride and first visit to his ancestors' hometown.

Update

It's been a while since I last posted here in this blog and there are so many things that I need to update (hi to my two followers!).  For one, Jacob is getting really big.  He growls now.  Yes, he growls.  Like a lion.  It's kinda cute only that it's not because he growls when he is not pleased with us when we tell him no.  Either that or he flatly just tells us that we are not allowed to say "no".  Jacob finished toddler school last March and is going to be a Nursery student in our school (PLDC PreSchool).  Anyway, this will just be a quick update to say that I am going to be back blogging here.

Oh and Jacob will be a kuya soon.  My wife is 2 plus months on the way.

It's good to be back!

Happy 5th Wedding Anniversary...

Just as a meadow washed by rain
Is relit by the dawn,
So our love, as we grow old,
Will each day be reborn.

I'm getting a little bit rusty because nice as the aforementioned words may be, they are not mine. Sadly I was not able to research to whom I should attribute those words. Nevertheless, it is quite fitting to invoke such words on the occasion of our fifth wedding anniversary. As they say, marriage is not a bed of roses but no matter what obstacles come our way we will endure because the strength of our marriage is renewed every day. Our love is reborn every day. Our love is reinvigorated for each and every day we continue to honor our commitment to each other, for better or for worse.

I love you, Hon.

Happy Father's Day

It's just fitting for me to return to posting in this blog on Father's day. It is my third year celebrating Father's day and it's my first year to celebrate it without a father myself. With my father gone, a lot of things have changed specially with my mom and how she goes through her daily routine, she is coping. But one of the biggest change/development is that my son, is now going to school. My goal why I wanted Jacob to start going to school is for him to be able to socialize with kids his age. I would've like it more if there are classes for his age that is only 2 or 3 times a week. However, there is none so we had him enrolled in a 5-day school week (2 hours a day) at St. Martha's. So far he has learned and improved in his social interactions. He received stars for being "teacher" for the day and recognized as having done a good deed to his classmates like sharing.

To my father, happy father's day and to the little boy who made me a father, thank you.

Remembering My Father 40 Days After

He said he was tired and wanted to rest. He wept. He wept because the thought made him sad. At that point, death was not scary to him. He was tired of his illness and death would've been a welcome respite. Instead, he was sad. Sad because his grandson may not remember him in the future. Sad that he is not going to see Jacob grow up, his grandson who also bears his name, Carlos. Ever since I can remember, this was the only time he openly wept.

The love and devotion my father had for my son may seem out-of-character for those who did not know him well. Some of his friends may only remember him as a happy-go-lucky guy who drunk a lot. But for me, his son, I am quite familiar to this side of him.

My dad was a guy's guy. He almost never showed his emotions but when it came to being a loving dad, he never failed to shed his tough facade. The earliest memory I had of him was of me being carried on his shoulder. He only stopped carrying me on his shoulders when I reached grade one because I just became too heavy. One of my bonding moments with my father when I was younger was me stepping all over his back. He would ask me to give him a massage and this was how he wanted me to do it while we were watching TV together. It brings me tears remembering that because when his illness worsened, the only way he was relieved of the pain was to have someone massage his back with a mentholated liniment. Whenever I am around, this was his request of me.

I remember when I was already a young adult I kept on wondering why our neighbors were updated with what's going on with me despite the fact that i hardly get to talk to them. I later found out that it was my father who gave them a semi blow-by-blow account of my achievements and plans. He never said that he was proud of me to my face but he made it known to me by how much he proudly updated our neighbors and his friends about me. I even had to remind him to tone it down because it was embarrassing for me. Looking back, I should've understood better that that was the only way he know how to show how proud he was of me.

Not everything I did had the seal of approval from my father. My mother would end up telling me the very few times that he complained of my impertinence. But he never showed me that he was displeased of me. He never let me feel that I did something wrong. He was always supportive of me.

My father was a flawed man, far from perfect. I am not blind to these. In fact there are still things that I am discovering about my father that he kept from me. But please forgive me for glossing over these things, I have chosen to remember my father not by his faults but by how much love he showed me when he was still alive despite the fact that I am imperfect and flawed myself.

* * *

Dear Papang,

I am sad that you left us so early in Jacob's life. But don't worry, as your son, I will make sure that he will remember you. I will make sure that he will always know that you loved him so dearly. I will never tire of telling him that there is only one time that I know of that you wept, and that was about him.

I love you Pang and I miss you very much.

Love,

Bimbo

Four Years of Happiness